


All That I Am is Yours

by Billy_Zane



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age - Various Authors, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Complicated Relationships, Crisis of Faith, Drama & Romance, Eventual Romance, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Humor, Lovers to Friends, Lyrium Withdrawal, Mages and Templars, Multi, Mutual Pining, POV Multiple, Past Relationship(s), Platonic Romance, Platonic Soulmates, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, doubting, finding faith
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-17
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:27:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23693881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Billy_Zane/pseuds/Billy_Zane
Summary: Aurora Trevelyan never thought true love was something she'd find. Until recently, she'd assumed she would be spending the majority of her life confined to the Circle in Ostwick. Her time in the Circle had left her with much bitterness toward the Chantry. She wanted nothing more than to separate herself from their people and cause. It came as a surprise when she found herself crushing on the Commander in her Inquisition, the former Knight-Captain at the Circle in Kirkwall. Even though he wasn't a templar anymore, her growing feelings for Cullen scared her and called into question much of what she believed. Could she truly open her heart to someone with his history? And could he ever care for someone like her? A mage.Cullen Rutherford didn't put much stock in the idea of finding love and settling down, having devoted his life to serving the Chantry in the Templar Order. Some templars married, but to him it seemed liked a distraction from the purpose of their cause. He enjoyed the company of women from time to time, but he didn't think his heart would ever be available to anyone. Now out of the order and Commander of the Inquisition, he was captivated by the beauty and persona of the last woman he'd ever expect.
Relationships: Bianca Davri/Varric Tethras, Cullen Rutherford/Female Trevelyan, Female Hawke/Varric Tethras, Female Inquisitor/Cullen Rutherford, Female Mage Inquisitor & Cullen Rutherford, Fenris/Female Hawke, Iron Bull/Dorian Pavus, Leliana/Female Warden (Dragon Age), Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Kudos: 6





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first fic I've ever made so I apologize in advance if it feels awkward or if the pacing is off. I have wanted to write this story for a long time and I'm really excited to give it a try, even if it sucks! haha. I welcome any feedback :)

Despite the pain and suffering all around, Aurora Trevelyan couldn’t help but smile to herself as the sun burst through the clouds, beating down upon her face. She had become used to the cold climate of the Frostbacks, but welcomed the warm feeling that now swept over her. She had been working tirelessly for hours now to help bring relief to the wounded soldiers that survived Haven. While it wasn’t technically her job—and her advisors likely preferred she be getting rest—she was never one to turn a blind eye to the suffering of others. Even before evidence of her magic had surfaced, she saw herself as a healer. She was always the one the children at her family estate ran to when they were injured, usually from doing something they didn’t want the adults to know about. Even her own older brother, Ian, came to her for assistance when physical altercations with rival noble boys got a little out of hand. While she couldn’t quite remember when this work started, she had vivid memories of staying up late devouring any book she could get her hands on regarding triage, potions & poultices, and general medical treatment. Her magic only served as an additional tool to her passion, though it took years of practice and mastery to be able to successfully use it for such noble purposes. For a long time it seemed her magic had done more harm than good, and not just in regards to her pursuit of medicine.

“Geez, kid. Do you ever take a break?”

Aurora glanced up at the voice, squinting at Varric Tethras as the sun blinded her. 

“You know I’ve dealt with a lot of blood in my time and I’m just gonna tell you right now— _that_ stain will _never_ come out. You better not let Ruffles see you like this.”

She looked down at her cream colored tunic, which had several spatters of blood on her torso. It wasn’t exactly the best clothing item for this kind of work, but all the clothes she was given once they arrived at Skyhold were high quality and definitely not intended for labor. Usually she wouldn’t mind. Fashion was one of her guilty pleasures, one she didn’t get to indulge much while living at the Circle. But on days like today she wished she had something a bit more humble to put on.

“I suppose I did make a bit of a mess of myself,” she conceded. “But I was far more concerned about stopping hemorrhages. Didn’t exactly wish for our good soldiers to bleed out.”

“Yeah yeah yeah, I get it. You’re a much better person than me. All of us already knew that. But look, you can’t be the hero every second of the day,” Varric said, waving his arm dismissively. “Do you think you could wrap things up in a bit here? There’s someone I want you meet.”

Aurora raised her eyebrows. “Are you finally introducing me to the special woman in your life?”

Varric sighed. “Yes. Well…no. Sort of. But probably not what you’re expecting.”

Aurora laughed. “Oh I think I have a clue after the fit Cassandra had last week after you two exchanged words privately. People love to gossip.”

“Then you should be thankful I’m letting _you_ meet her first. Seeker doesn’t even know she’s here yet and for now I’d like to keep it that way,” he winked.

“Alright Varric. Just give me some time to bathe, then I’ll head to your quarters,” she laughed.

As Aurora began to ascend the stairs in the courtyard, Cullen Rutherford was coming down while talking to one of his soldiers. As their eyes met, she blushed and quickly looked away. Now aware of her disheveled appearance, thanks to Varric, she was feeling self conscious and embarrassed for him to see her like this.

“Inquisitor,” he coughed, sounding a bit surprised to see her. “I um…didn’t expect you to be down here right now.” His eyes widened a bit as he looked her over, “are you alright?”

“Hello Commander. I’m quite fine, thank you. I was helping our surgeon with the wounded soldiers. You know, stitching wounds and setting bones,” she laughed.

“I didn’t realize that was an area of your expertise,” he confessed.

“I wouldn’t call myself an expert, not by any measure. It’s just something I have a bit of experience with… and I wanted to help.”

He smiled at her. “That’s a very noble thing of you to do. And I’m sure our healers appreciate it. Great leaders are the ones who aren’t afraid to get their hands dirty and work right alongside their men.”

“You might be right. But I’m afraid Josephine is going to think I got my hands a little _too_ dirty today,” she laughed.

“Ah yes,” he chuckled. “I have to agree.

“Well, I should…” she gestured toward the main tower.

“Of course!” He exclaimed. “It was nice to talk to you. I’m sorry to keep you.”

“Oh, you can keep me anytime!” She blurted.

His eyebrows raised in surprised.

“Anytime. Um, I mean it’s nice to talk anytime!” She shook her head, blushing in embarrassment. “It was no bother.”

A cute grin spread across his face and he nodded. “Have a good rest of your day, Inquisitor.”

* * *

Aurora was completely mortified as she ran back over the conversation in her mind while getting cleaned up in her chambers. She had told the Commander of the Inquisition’s forces that he could _keep_ her… _anytime_. Sure, it wasn’t the worst thing she could have said. Unfortunately, this was not the first time she nervously blurted something awkward to a man she fancied. Oh but this was different, so it wasn’t that big of a deal. Aurora didn’t _fancy_ Cullen Rutherford. No, she just found him a bit intimidating—which was perfectly understanding given his notoriety and long history of serving in high ranking positions among the Templar Order. Aurora had many opinions about the templars, most of them not so great, but even _she_ could recognize that not just anyone was entrusted to serve as the Knight-Captain. Not to say that automatically meant a templar in that position was free of corruption. But Cullen was different than any templar she had ever known, and she knew many. He was a good and trustworthy man. She could see that and her most trusted advisors did too. Regardless of how poorly things turned out in Kirkwall, when it mattered the most Cullen fought on the _right_ side. That was something she always tried to remember when she found herself clashing a bit with him early on. It took the two of them some time to warm up to the other, but now she might even consider them friends. Perhaps a bit far fetched, but she liked the idea of getting to know him better. Not because she fancied him or anything—how silly a thought—but because she respected him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of background on Cullen and how he came to be where he currently is with the Inquisition. I'm trying my best to keep in line with cannon, but am definitely taking many liberties to add more depth to his backstory with the templar order and his personal views on things. I hope this chapter wasn't boring! I want to build a good foundation for our characters. I promise more Cullen/Inquisitor interactions are coming your way :)

Cullen was not in the best place when Seeker Cassandra Pentaghast initially made contact to recruit him as Commander for the Inquisition. For ten years he had tried so hard to forget the traumatic events he witnessed at the Circle in Ferelden. When he first became a templar, Kirkwall was not high on the list of places he hoped to serve, but when he received his assignment there he was eager to get as far away from Ferelden as possible. He threw himself into his work with a level of devotion he did not even possess his first year in the order. He needed to distract himself in every waking moment or the anxiety would set in and the things of his nightmares became a waking reality. He tried to convince himself there was some sort of blessing from the Maker in all of this—at least that’s what his mentors and servants of the Chantry told him. If anything was for sure, he had seen firsthand the damage that magic could do. Even the most seasoned of templars were not enough to keep all the mages in check when they chose to give themselves over to the demons. Mages had long complained about the restrictions of Circe life, but ironically even _that_ was not enough to protect the world from the evil they were capable of. Sure, some mages were good people, but after the Circle broke in Ferelden, Cullen was certain that no mage was immune to the corruption of demons. And this belief is what drove him while he served in Kirkwall. The Maker had allowed him to witness such terror so he could warn the world of the dangers of magic. He had been pleased to see that the Circle in Kirkwall was more secure and restrictive. That was how it needed to be for the good of everyone else. On some level he had known mages were people too, but deep down he had believed it was more complicated than that. Maybe at some point in their lives they had the same level of humanity as non-mages, but as their magic grew they became less and less natural. This was why they needed to be locked up and watched at all times. 

But Cullen didn’t believe that anymore. In fact, he didn’t have a clue what he believed about almost anything. His service in Kirkwall was supposed to make the world a better place, safer for all the Maker’s children. It had been ten years since the Circle in Ferelden fell, yet his nightmares were just as vivid. And he had failed yet again, only this time it was worse because he watched the order he had devoted his entire life to become just as corrupt as the mages at the tower—maybe even more. His very own Knight-Commander that he had so faithfully served and respected exhibited the most atrocious abuse of power he had ever seen. Even though he refused to condone the heinous actions of Knight-Commander Meredith, he could not help but beat himself up for not seeing it sooner. In his time at Kirkwall, he had turned a blind eye to the sins of the templar order, believing them above reproach. By the time he aided Hawke in taking Meredith down, it was too late to undo the damage that had already been done. Now he had this heaviness about him, a burden that was too hard to bear. Despite what happened, he still had faith in the Templar Order. He knew they served a great purpose and their existence was necessary, he just wasn’t sure what that role was supposed to be anymore. Clearly many of them had gotten it wrong. Mostly, Cullen had lost faith in _himself_ as a templar, which is why he decided he was no longer fit to serve. If he was honest, he didn’t even possess the desire. His passion and devotion for their cause had been sucked dry in the last couple years and he felt a small sliver of hope when he considered a life free of the order. 

“I have seen many men fall from grace, losing all that they once were in the process,” Seeker Pentaghast had said to him, the day he’d arrived at Haven. “You are a broken man, Commander—but not beyond repair. There is still much time for redemption.”

“I hope you’re right, Seeker,” he’d sighed. “I fear I don’t have much left to give, but I promise you I will try my best. I cannot go on living the way that I was. Perhaps this is my last chance to finally be the kind of a man that would have made my father proud.”

“I did not know your father, Commander, but I have this hunch that he already would be,” she smiled.

It felt good to have someone believe in him. Cassandra, Leliana, and Josephine—three powerful women whom he deeply respected. If they believed he had what it took to command the forces of the Inquisition, then maybe he would eventually believe in himself too.

* * *

Cullen often reminded himself of that initial conversation with Cassandra at Haven. Her words had a deeper impact than she probably realized. He clung to them in times when he doubted himself—which was a lot. He had already known he was broken—the events of the last ten years would have broken even better men. But what Cullen hadn’t known, though needed so badly to hear, was that he still could be redeemed. It wasn’t the only reason he chose to serve the Inquisition, but it was a hope he held deep in his heart.

After his brief run-in with the Inquisitor that afternoon, he found himself wondering what kind of man she saw when she looked at him. She had lived much of her life in the Circle, an experience she had made clear was not a good one. Despite his departure from the order and his new position, did she still see him as templar? He was sure Varric had filled her in on everything that went down in Kirkwall. Though he and Varric got along fairly well, he feared his depiction of the events revealed a version of Cullen that he was ashamed of. She was perfectly pleasant to him this afternoon and the two of them had gotten along much better since arriving at Skyhold—but even still he feared that she held a disdain for him. 

The Inquisitor’s opinion of Cullen mattered to him a great deal, but not just because she was the Inquisitor. Aurora Trevelyan was different than any mage—or woman even—than he had ever met and he was rather entranced with her. Admittedly, he was very attracted to her—but then again what man wouldn’t be? She was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. She carried herself with such grace and confidence that demanded the respect of everyone around her. Her long, pale silver-gold hair seemed magical in and of itself, simultaneously reminding him of ice and the warmth of the sun. He loved how she always wore it down, with seemingly dozens of intricate little braids, going every which way— keeping it pulled behind her shoulders. Most women who served in combat went for a less opulent hairstyle in favor of efficiency, but Aurora made it work. He sensed that she was aware of her beauty, but she did not come off as vain. In fact, it seemed to Cullen that her choice of style was chiefly for herself and not an ostentatious display. Despite her confidence and willingness to lead, Cullen suspected that Aurora preferred to serve more humbly and on the sidelines, which was evident in the healing work she spent hours doing today. She was a powerful mage, but not one eager to be on a battlefield. She did not chose to bear this burden, the mark had chosen her—or perhaps Andraste did. That was something he did not know for sure. What he _did_ know was that there was a sadness in her, something he only recognized because he felt it in himself—the weight of a burden one feared they could not carry. He was just her Commander and she the Herald of Andraste, the great Inquisitor—but he found himself wishing he could quell her sadness and lessen that burden. 


End file.
